1. Assholes in movie theaters. The main reason why I rarely go to a movie theater anymore. There are the people who talk during the movie, people who answer their cell phone during the movie, the person sitting behind you kicking the back of your seat… It never ends. You ever wonder who goes to watch a film on a Wednesday at 11am two weeks after it’s released? That’s me. Why? Because chances are I’ll be the only one in the theater and I can watch the movie in peace.

2. People who I don’t know that try to talk to me while I’m using the restroom. I hate it when guys I don’t know try to spark a conversation while I’m in midstream. When I’m tinkling and I don’t know you, leave me the Hell alone.

3. Guys who sag their pants below their ass. Enough said.

4. Graffiti on walls of bathroom stalls. I don’t need to read that you’re the coolest person in the world or why a certain band is great while I’m taking a dump. If I’m dropping a load in a public bathroom, anything you write on a bathroom stall is the least of my concern (unless it says “Out of order” or “Please help. Been kidnapped. Call the police.” or something of that nature). So if you’re one of those guys that likes to write messages on the wall of bathroom stall while you’re making music on the can, just keep your thoughts to yourself and take care of business.

5. “SoCal” decals on automobiles. Why do people have the urge to put “SoCal” in Old English font on the rear windshield of their cars/trucks? Do I need a reminder that I am in Southern California? Futhermore, we can include the “Inland Empire” decals in the similar Old English font. But these are usually exclusive to the lifted Ford F150s, Dodge Rams, or whatever Chevy truck is the hotness for the ‘IE’. Do I need a reminder that I am living in a place that would be perfectly fine if it weren’t for the 100F+ degree weather in the summers, rampant gang violence, meth, and idiots driving around in lifted pickup trucks with 3 feet of ground clearance taking up 2 spaces in the parking lot at the Ralph’s supermarket? Seriously. Peel the “SoCal” and “Inland Empire” stickers off your vehicles.